Tag Archive | Encouragement

Remember… Your Children Belong to Him

Apr29

I was reminded of this fact several weeks ago after my alarm had gone off. I was sitting up in bed trying to clear the cobwebs and started thinking about Easter, which was only a few days away. (I know we’re way past Easter now… but my writing opportunities have been very sparse lately!) Anyway, for some reason, I started thinking about Mary. The Mary. How heavy her heart must have felt at this time. Did she even want to get out of bed with each passing day, or did she jump out of bed in hopes to hear more news in her circle regarding what was happening with her beloved boy? Did she know where He was? Did she want to run to find Him and protect Him?

She knew from the moment she started carrying Him that her son had this purpose. But even though Gabriel had given her the low-down over 30 years before, she didn’t know exactly how it was all going to play out. I can’t imagine her motherly feelings as she watched it unfold.

In no way can we possibly compare our situation to Mary’s, the mother of our Savior, but we do have one thing in common… we are parents of children that belong to Him. They are here according to His plans, His timing, and His purpose.

I have to remind myself of this often. God has blessed us with our sweet children… but we have them only for a season. Out of all the people in this world, He chose each one of us to be the parents to our particular children… to pour into them what He needs them to be equipped with… for His purposes.

I don’t know what His plans are for our children. But I pray often for His guidance in helping us prep them for what He has in store. They each have their own unique beat, with their own affinities, aversions, and gifts. Sometimes I can easily see myself in them, and other times I’m left standing there scratching my head as to their latest antics.

Parenting is such a white-knuckle ride sometimes, isn’t it? Just when we think we’ve got something handled, a new crossroad pops up. The scenery changes and things get unpredictable again. We have to make decisions, sometimes on-the-fly. Then we agonize over things, stay awake at night, shed tears, question ourselves, question our kids, question our Lord, change our mind… ugh!!!!!!

That just means we’re good parents. :-) We do this because we care. Deep down inside we want to know our children are well. And more than anything, are they safe? For Christ-centered families, that means that we want to see our children walking with the Lord. That’s EVERYTHING. Nothing else matters if our children’s souls reject the Holy Spirit. Their six-figure salary, global traveling, worldly success means nothing. What really matters is… do they know the Lord? Are their names written in the Lamb’s Book of Life? And, are they of use to Him and reflecting Him?

And in the process of raising our children in the light, we are preparing them for what He might have them do. Be in prayer about what He needs us to prep them for. Take note of their basic personality traits and gifts. What comes easy to them? What are they drawn towards? Sometimes I think you can see these things in their purest form when they are young, before they change due to social pressure… or our own (well-intentioned, mind you) influence.

And this is where comparison and questioning can be our enemy. It’s so easy to look around at other families and then wonder about your own… Shouldn’t my child know her times table by now?… Wow, their 14 year-old already has his own business… Their 10 year-old is playing four instruments and speaks Japanese… Why can’t my child even wear matching clothes for once?… Why is my child such a follower? (or) Why is my child such an antagonizer?… Why does my child want to question everything?…Why does my child despise math so much (when it’s so easy for me)?… When will my child pick up a book on his own?… Why can’t he/she be more brave about things?… Why is she always doodling and collecting sticks?…Will he/she ever stop talking?… Why is my child always the loudest one? (or) Why doesn’t my child talk to anyone else?

EEEEEEEEEEEEK! We could go on and on like this couldn’t we? And sometimes we do. But we shouldn’t! Use your observations in gathering wisdom for your OWN children. Then provide opportunities for them to develop and grow. Provide the basic building blocks… love, structure, non-criticism, encouragement, and being available in guiding them through all their ventures. Provide books, access to the outdoors, real-life situations, and the opportunity to let them discover answers in their own way. Teach them to teach themselves. Teach them to do hard work… to the finish. Teach them to take initiative, find answers, and be self-disciplined.

Don’t look around at others. Your child will read when she wants to read, learn how to lead/follow others wisely with your guidance, learn valuable social skills as you teach it, and excel academically/physically where they have a natural bent. Yes, you can put your own ideas on them and have them learn/do something they don’t seem to be pre-wired for, but God has purposefully planted their gifts in them… we are there to observe, cultivate, and strengthen them for Him. Be in prayer, ask for guidance, and then enjoy the journey with them. :-)

Enjoy the quiet days :-)

Feb20

So today it is rainy… and beautiful!

Actually, it was supposed to be our PE and Park Day with our homeschool group.  It starts after lunch, usually lasts several hours, and then everyone heads home tired and ready for the shower.

But… today it rained, so it was all cancelled.

I only schedule school for mornings on our PE days.  And there’s no way, due to a little rain that I’m going to add on an afternoon of unexpected subjects… neither the kids or I are in the mood for that!

So… we took advantage of a rare, free afternoon.  I know I could have used the time to catch up on homemaking tasks.  But I didn’t. :-)

First I baked.  Mmmmm…. A delicious concoction of banana, oats, chocolate chips, almonds… all swirled together with butter, oat flour, and flax… delish and healthy.  Practically breakfast-worthy in my book.

Banana Oat Chocolate Chip cookies

Then, here’s what our daughter and I did:

Rainy Day Fingernails

We glammed up the fingernails!  And instead of going for my usual middle-aged subtle dusty pink, I went for Rockstar Pink Glitter.  Too fun.  You can see me coming from  a mile away.

Our son, in the meantime, was granted extra computer time and is currently attempting to defeat Germany in Call of Duty.

So, take the time to enjoy the unexpected down-time, ladies.  They’re few-and-far-between and I’m learning to use them rather than dismiss them.  I can guarantee the kids won’t forget it!  The laundry can stay laid out on the bed a little longer.  And now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve just put on a pot of coffee, and me and my glittery self are going to go play a round of Wii Golf with the kiddos, to the sweet tune of falling rain and thunderclaps. :-)

My Continuing Education

Feb15

Whenever I hear the term, “Continuing Education”, it’s usually in reference to the college classes one can sign up for at the local community college. Like, Beginning Portuguese, Learn to Skype!, Scuba Exploration, or Rock Climbing for Starters. Although the idea of scaling a sharp cliff does seem to have some sort of weird attractiveness to it, and I’m sure I would learn something from it, I seem to be on my own path of ‘Continuing Education‘ sans the registration fees or need of a First Aid kit.

I’m hitting the big 3-9 at the end of this month. Which means the big 4-0 is next. But I’m very thankful to a friend who passed on a great philosophy of this milestone to me a few years ago. Her take on it was that she felt like she learned soooooo much in her 30′s, that she was actually excited about her 40′s. Wow… isn’t THAT refreshing? :-)

So, every time I go to the calendar to schedule an activity and see the day getting closer… I’m reminding myself embracing her mindset. After all, she’s right. Think of how much more you know with each passing year.

But it’s such a thin line between being regretful, and being thankful. There’s so many times I find myself saying, “If I could go back and do it all over again…“. (Like how I could just hit the ‘Reset’ button on our Atari when I didn’t like how my Space Invaders game was going.) But I have to stop thinking that way, and instead, be thankful for the wisdom gained from each experience. Maybe I can’t have a ‘re-do’, but I can still apply the learned concepts to other areas in my life. And, more than anything, I can pass on the new knowledge to our children. This is why we become mentors later in life. We think we know it all in our 20′s, right? Chuckle chuckle.

Actually, what I really get a chuckle out of is that so much of what we do as parents is like a ‘re-do’ in life. Things we thought we left far behind us rear back up again as if it grew a new head. Like, our son’s math problems are starting to look like “n = _____”, so now I’m re-facing algebra again. And some things, I just don’t remember at all. I don’t recall ever learning the word, ‘hectare‘ in my math classes before, do you?

Yes, life is sure different when seeing it a second time around, through the eyes of your children. But at least we have our own first run-through to guide us, whether it was successful or not. If we didn’t like how it went for us the first time around, we get to train and inspire our kids to go about these things differently this time. And for all the things we found pleasing, we can amp it up and improve it even more as we get another opportunity at the fun stuff.  And, lest I fail to mention, don’t miss how much we learn from our children.  They have such a way of simplifying, cutting to the chase, and seeing things for what they are.  Often, the life lessons stem from them.

Each day, week, and year are new. We have no idea what we will learn this year, do we? But it’s truly a continuing education. Enjoy it, embrace it, and use it. If not for yourself, then for those around you. Expand, be useful, and be available. :-)

It’s not about me anymore.

Jan7

It was one of those days. A day in which, for probably a couple hours straight, I went from family member to family member to family member, responding to their requests for help with something. Please know, this is not a writing of complaint (I’ve had a few days to purge that)… it was a day I was being reminded of the importance of my role. Must have needed the reminder.

Any mom/wife/parent can relate to this. I was trying to get some time to preview some literature books for when our homeschooling resumes after Christmas. But every time I went to pick up, “The Princess and the Goblin”, or “Around the World in 80 Days”, I heard, “Hey Mom, do I have any clean jeans?”, “Honey, can you open the garage door for me?”, “How do you play an eighth-note?”, “Are these cookies still good?”, “Does this have gluten in it?”, “Can you help me move the TV back into place?”, “We’re out of cheese”, “Can someone hand me a new soap?” (shower running),”My toast burned!”, “Can you help me carry this back to the garage?”, “Can you feed me?” (that was the dog.), “How do you pronounce this word?”, “Buzz” (that was the dryer), “Are we shopping soon because the fridge is empty.”, and then of course, “What’s for dinner?”

And I only have two kids (neither of which are toddlers), one husband, and one dog. Compared to many gals, my load is easy. But the feeling is universal. We are NEEDED… A LOT…and sometimes there just doesn’t seem to be enough of us to go around! But, as I said earlier, I’m not writing this as a complaint.

Being the center of the home is a blessing. It’s our place. It’s what we do. And the reward of a smiling, appreciative family is priceless. It’s not about us anymore, is it? If it were, we might selfishly find ways to have more time on our hands, but would ultimately have less joy in our hearts and our family’s heart. Our work in the home is eternally purposeful, filling, and lasting.

As a mother, you might find your old dreams have gone up on the shelf for a while. It’s ok. There will be a season in which you may be able to pursue them again. Or, like many of us, you may go to revisit your old dreams, only to find you aren’t interested in them anymore. Your priorities and perspectives have changed. You have developed a new ‘you’ because of your role. Parenthood, when embraced, brings about self-LESS-ness. And that’s a beautiful side-effect. I shudder when I think of how self-focused I would probably be right now had I not been on this path for the last 13 years.

So, when the next ‘interruption’ happens, don’t think of it as an interruption. (And I’ll try to do the same. :-) ) Think of it as the routine. Our routine. We are there for the needs of the family, however unexpected, unpredictable, and busy it might get. Your tea might be lukewarm by the time you get to drink it, after you finally figure out where you last left it in the house (ahem), but it will still taste good (and can always be reheated… more than once…) So, have a nice day, smile, and go enjoy your interruptions! ;-)

The Blessing of Prayer

Nov27

This is one area we can’t afford to ignore in our lives.  Over the years of my marriage and motherhood journey, I have come to learn just how much the Lord desires us to be in prayer with Him, and just how much of a gift prayer is.  God has given us the rights to talk to Him directly, anytime we want.  He has the ultimate  ‘open door’ policy for which I am so grateful!  He could have easily created us and said, “Best of luck… you’re on your own now.”  But He didn’t.  He wants that fellowship with us… He desires us to draw near to Him.

And He desires good things for us.  Even though He already knows what we need, He still wants to hear from us.  And, just as with our own children, He does not require that our words be perfect.  All He wants is for you to come to Him.  Regularly.  Not just in the hard times.

In fact, praying in advance for things is a very wise idea.  When you know you will be facing a difficult circumstance, ask for Him to prepare you.  When I am anticipating an event that I know will be difficult for my children to endure, I pray for the Lord to prepare them ahead of time and make their hearts ready.  There is no such thing as praying too early about something.  You can even be praying for your child’s adult years, including his/her future spouse, even if your child is only a newborn!

“Thy will be done…”
“Yes, this can be a hard one to ask.  For His will to be done, not ours.  But the wonderful thing we’re allowed to ask for along with this, is for Him to equip us for whatever His will is.  Although we always think we know what is best, God often has a differing opinion (according to His own reasons).  We can’t know His reasoning, and don’t always have the capacity to understand at the time, but, we can ask for His guidance to get us through what He has planned for us.  As the saying goes, God doesn’t call the equipped, He calls us and then equips us.

For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.  “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?  If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!  So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”  Matthew 7:8-12, NIV (emphasis mine)

Translation:  You can depend on our great God to meet your needs.  He wants to bless us, just as we enjoy blessing our children.  But be sure to come and ask!

Pray, and be sure to watch and pay attention to how He answers.  Many people keep a prayer journal for this purpose.  It is an easy way to be able to see how His hand has been on you and where He has led you.  It also serves as a wonderful prompt to give praises to Him, as you look back and see His blessings and guidance.

So where do we start?  What do we say?  If you weren’t raised with it, it may be an awkward or unsure area for you.  Here’s my theory… remember He is your Father, so talk to Him as if He’s sitting right there and you need to converse with Him about things.  He’s ready for us any time of day or night.

If you’ve never read them, I highly recommend the prayer books written by Stormie Omartian.  I have personally used Power of a Praying Wife and Power of a Praying Parent, and feel they have been extremely helpful in my prayer life.  She has written the books in an easy-to-use format in which she covers about 30 different key areas of life, and then provides an applicable prayer.  For example, in Power of a Praying Wife, some of the prayer topics covered (among many others) are:  Your husband’s work, fatherhood, reputation, purpose, temptations, and trials.  By doing one a day (or more, if you’d like), you know you are covering your husband in prayer in every area of his life, every month.  I really came to like this method, as many of the topics written about were ones that I wouldn’t have thought about on my own.  And the ones in Power of a Praying Parent are just as pertinent to your child’s well-being.

So don’t deny yourself the incredible gift of being able to pray directly to our wonderful God.  Be as specific as you want to be in your prayers (i.e. “Please help me find my missing keys!” (ahem.), or “Please help things go smoothly for my husband’s presentation at work today.”, “Please let your Spirit guide my words as I’m discussing my child’s disobedience with him/her.”, “Please make room in the doctor’s schedule to see our child today.”) .  Pray for your husband, children, parents, family, neighbors, government, teachers, friends, and adversaries (you might be amazed what He can do!).  And don’t forget to pray for yourself, either.  Prayer is amazingly powerful tool available with a simple, silent thought… what a blessing!

Aging Gracefully

Oct12

This isn’t meant to be a depressing topic, honestly!  I just wanted to create some inspiration to the ladies out there to embrace the beauty that comes later in life, as opposed to fighting against it.

There seems to be such a trend out there to put on a show in regards to our presentation.  And as the years set in, that show gets harder and harder to put on!  But I can’t help but feel such a sadness when I see a woman working so desperately to change (on the outside, at least) what is happening to her physically.

I’ve recently seen two different ladies at local grocery stores who have chosen the cosmetic surgery path, and it clearly didn’t go well.  And it’s terribly sad on my heart, because you can’t help but see straight through to their heart.  It’s painfully obvious that the idea of their body moving on ahead was too much for them to bear, and they decided to fight against it.  Which makes me conclude that they are very driven by their outward beauty, and how others are judging that beauty.  It can become such a sad, frantic circle.

And even if it’s not taken to the level of surgery, there are other age-defying methods we ladies may undertake.  Like working ourselves to death in the gym, or even something as simple as wearing clothing styles that are clearly meant for a much younger generation.  I’m not saying we can’t buy anything from the Juniors department, but be sure to look upon those clothing selections with clear eyes.  Those clothes are designed and meant for the teen/college age, and can just look plain weird when worn on the more, shall we say, seasoned.

We are meant to age… our hair changes, our skin gets tired, and gravity has a field day with our body.  It’s a fact.  Although we can’t stop it, we can at least embrace it and stay classy in the process.  It is perfectly ok to look your age, and it makes the most sense to everyone else when you do.  There are scores of beautiful, smart, elegant ladies out there that embrace their golden beauty with pride.  They are sensible, classy, and loaded with wisdom.  It is these women we want to look to for inspiration, rather than the ones wearing the “Hot Girls Drink Beer” t-shirt at the age of 50. :-)

**********

You may also like A Crown to her Husband

Filling the home with sweet sounds

Aug27

As I’ve mentioned before, setting the tone for the home is so important as a homemaker.  You always want to have a pleasant, peaceful feeling throughout the home, and I’ve found that music is a key player in this (and WAY better than TV!).  Sometimes the mood calls for a lot of energy, and sometimes it definitely doesn’t.  You know your family and what is right for each moment, and I encourage you to consider these things as you are creating the setting for your family throughout the day.

I also blend this idea with one of my favorite verses, which has to do with continuously teaching the Lord’s ways to our children, throughout all hours of the day:

“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”  Deuteronomy 6:6-7, NIV.

So, music again becomes a wonderful addition to the home and is a great way to incorporate the Gospel into your home (without us having to do all the talking :-) ).

Sometimes I use our own music selections (Christian or secular), but many times I will put on the radio.  I thought I’d share a few of the different stations I’ve been using lately (all can be streamed through the internet), and hope you might find them enjoyable as well. And the last one is actually a solid and pure Christian-talk station which, again, is a help to me in regards to the above Bible verse, as the kiddos can glean a lot as they walk by the kitchen and hear it.

*****

When you’re in the mood for more modern Christian songs, there’s usually plenty of choices out there, but I do have a couple of favorites.  They may not be based out of where you live, but are still good no matter where you’re listening (and again, easily accessible via the internet).  I feel like the following stations do a great job being encouraging and uplifting, and I never have to fear what the kiddos will hear when it’s playing throughout the house:

Joy FM

Family Life Radio

K Love

*****
For a little more traditional songs and hymns, I like:

Abiding Radio -  This station has many different music selections you can choose, and all are of the traditional sense.  I love choosing the ‘Instrumental’ option as it just repeatedly plays soft, instrumental versions of all of the favorite hymns.  I often play it in the background as we’re at the table doing school, or on Sunday mornings as we’re preparing for church.  The best part is that I will find myself singing these hymns to myself throughout the day when I’m in other parts of the house, so I feel like I’m keeping my mind filled with the Gospel without even having to work at it!  They also have categories titled “Sacred”, “Seasonal” (Christmas, Easter, and Patriotic), and “Kids”.

*****
Sometimes, when I know I’ll be in one place for a while (like making dinner), I love having solid Christian-talk programming on.  And I have a definite, ultimate favorite station for this:

Bott Radio Network -  All day long you can hear quality programming and solid, Bible-based sermons.  You will definitely get the pure Word here, and no pop-Christianity or watered-down Gospel.  Just to name a few, you can hear David Jeremiah, Chuck Swindoll, Adrian Rogers (my favorite!), Charles Stanley, Randy Carlson, Hank Hanegraaff, R.C. Sproul, James Dobson…  (I’m honestly just scratching the surface here).  Love it. :-)

*****

Also, in regards to what you have playing in the home, always try to be aware of what is fitting for the moment.  For example, when my husband comes home from work, I know he’s probably had a busy day and it is probably not a time that he would appreciate anything loud or ‘noisy’ (like talk radio!).  But, earlier in the day, when the kids and I are hitting ‘chore time’, this is definitely the time we crank it out. :-)

These are just a few tidbits in how you can help set the tone and mood in your home so as to bring relaxation and joy to everyone.  I hope it helps in your own homemaking!

A Crown To Her Husband

Aug15

“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” Proverbs 12:4, NIV

Here’s another translation:

“A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but she that maketh ashamed is like rottenness in his bones.” Proverbs 12:4, KJV

Sometimes we can completely underestimate this one, ladies.  The way we carry ourselves affects not only our reputation, but our husband’s as well.

So… how are we doing on this one?

Whether we are in our husband’s presence or out alone, he should be able to count on the fact that we are conducting ourselves in an honorable way.  We are keeping our language in check, our children in order, and speaking highly of our husband.  Have you ever heard a woman gossip about her own husband?  It’s embarrassing… you can tell right then and there that he’ll never meet her standards.  I can’t imagine the frustration he feels with all of her ‘correcting’ comments.  And the woman who does this digs her own grave… instead of seeing him growing stronger, more confident, and sturdy, he only appears weaker and more insecure as time goes by (like having decay in his bones).

When a man’s family and home are well-run (complete with a capable, classy wife) it’s an admirable thing that commands respect from others.  Ladies, we are key to this.  We are the day-to-day managers of many of his affairs.  He needs to know, with confidence, that not only are we not undoing all he is striving for, but we are supporting, contributing to, and encouraging all his efforts.  He can leave for work knowing we’ve got things handled.  This brings us to another Bible verse:

“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Proverbs 14:1, NIV

When our husbands see others observing us, there should be a feeling of pride… never shame.  If we’re going out with others, our husbands should never have to ‘remind’ us to wear something ladylike, or be aware of how many drinks we’ve had.  Or not to be a gossip, perpetual complainer, or uncomfortably confrontational.

Whether we like it or not, we often are the representative image of the marriage.  People WILL make judgement calls about our husbands based on us… the wives.  Which gives us the honorable role of influencing others’ opinions about our husbands for the better.

Some of you may be thinking that your husband is undeserving of this respect, and you might be right.  However, through your diligent and QUIET faithfulness to your husband, you can influence your husband’s heart and prompt him to change his ways.  Be obedient to the Lord in this task, pray heavily, and give God time to work in your husband’s heart.  God will reveal a man’s errors in His own way, which will be a hundred times better than our nagging voice, or our “subtle” ways of letting him know how much we disapprove.

In addition to that, a husband can’t help but fall farther in love with a wife who supports and encourages her man.  Our husbands are required to love us (Colossians 3:19), but it sure makes it easier for them when we are their admiring advocate!  So even if you truly have more frustrations for your husband, rather than praises at the moment, take a first step and start finding ways to encourage him.  Find something to thank him for or compliment him on.  Brag about him to others!  Fix breakfast for him, or leave him a note in his car. The more you do this, the more natural it becomes.  And your husband will LOVE it, which means he will find more ways to please you.  See the beautiful win-win cycle taking place?  So much better than bitterness and shame.

So be that loving, classy lady for your husband… especially in front of others.  You always want to keep your husband’s pride intact by remembering just how much you influence and contribute to his strength.  It will gain him more respect in others’ eyes, and he will CHERISH you!

A good mentor is such a treasure

Aug13

Having a mentor (or several, if you’re blessed!) in your life is such a God-send, literally.  I’m talking about people you can trust to be your gentle guide and compass along your path.  I first started understanding this concept years ago at a very well-run Bible study I attended. On the first day of the study, each gal picked a table to sit at, and that would end up being your table for the semester.  And each table of ladies was assigned to both a leader and a “Mentor Mom”.  The leader’s role was to help keep the conversation on track, handle any administrative happenings, etc., but the Mentor Mom’s role was to… yes, mentor us.

The church was selective in who they picked for the mentor roles.  And I doubt any of the chosen ladies were under the age of 50.  It was one of my first realizations of the importance of gleaning off of the more experienced.  Have you noticed how easy it is to ‘write off’ an older person?  They’re not connected anymore, times were different back then, they don’t understand the things of today or what I’m going through…

Yes.  They DO understand.  They might not have experienced the exact thing you’re going through, but more than likely they’ve gone through something extremely similar, or been close to a person who has.  You never, never know what other people are carrying in their background.

I also remember a pastor talking once about this subject.  He was actually referring to a man who his church was considering bringing on as a fellow pastor.  But as he tells it, they didn’t end up hiring him.  The candidate had all the schooling and ‘textbook’ side of things handled well, but what he lacked was any significant trial or tragedy in his life.  And this is what ultimately brings compassion, empathy, and understanding towards others who are enduring a difficult circumstance.  I’m sure the man could have provided kind words to others, but he just couldn’t shepherd the flock at the same level as someone who has already walked through some of those fires himself.

Although there are many factors that go into a good mentor, I think the following are the most important:

1.  Age – As I’ve already mentioned – this is number one.  Life has to have happened to this person already.  You can have plenty of great counselors and friends that give spot-on advice, but the seasoned experience that will truly guide you only comes with age.

2.  Discernment – A person who can assess, perceive, and distinguish things with wisdom.  They are grounded and centered like a well-tuned compass.  And this is because of factor number three…

3.  They walk in the Word and have the Holy Spirit – This is their anchor, and is what develops their wise discernment.  You don’t want to take advice from people blown by a worldly wind.  Then you will be caught up in the same gust, but without a foothold.

4.  They listen – Sometimes, all we need is an ear.  Have you ever had that experience in which you solve your own issue by just talking out loud about it and it all suddenly becomes clear?  And if it is something in which you need feedback, it’s hard to accept someone’s counsel when you’re not sure he/she completely understands what you are struggling with.  So when you feel like you’ve been ‘heard’, it’s a huge help.

5. They are objective and honest (even when it hurts) – They can look at all sides of your situation and speak openly to you about it.  It takes a special person to be able to do that, without causing hurt feelings. (And on our end, we have to be able to hear the things we sometimes don’t want to hear… otherwise we are negating the value of what our mentor can offer us.)

Hopefully you’re as blessed as I am to have your parents as natural, built-in mentors.  But I know it’s just not that way for everyone.  But these people are still out there… they may be at your church, your work, your social groups, maybe even your friends’ parents.

Be drawn to the ones that uphold the charge given in Titus 2:

The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.  Titus 2:3-5

Learn from those ahead of you on the path.  They’ve experienced hurt, triumph, having much, having little, motherhood, losing loved ones, lost jobs, baby blessings, sleepless nights, daily monotony… you name it.  They want to encourage us, disciple us, and do what they can to give us a foothold and strengthen our families.  Be thankful God has placed them in your life, and take the time to hear their wisdom. :-)

The Battle for Contentment

Jul17

Aaahhh contentment… we sometimes forget how much we need this!  And, have you noticed,  in this world of technology it’s getting more and more difficult to achieve?  We have, at our fingertips, the ability to see all that’s out there… and all that everyone else already has.  Just by logging on and connecting yourself with your friends and acquaintances, you can see what they’re up to, their fun activities, how skinny they are, latest vacation, new house, new car, job promotions…

Or how about some of the shows out there?  Besides watching baseball games with my family, I do have a couple of favorite programs… for some reason, I am HOOKED on House Hunters and House Hunters, International.  But, I must admit, when I hear what some of the budgets are that these 20-something-year-olds have as they are house shopping… in Italy… I’m floored!  Anyone else wondering how in the world can they pull that off?  What do they DO for a living?  

Then you put in your tray of leftovers to reheat, tell your kids to quit fighting, and call your husband so you can coordinate when to pick him up from work and make it to the mechanic’s on time to pick up your newly patched 11-year-old van.  (Ahem.)

Well, it really all comes down to contentment, doesn’t it?   And one of the main reasons we have to battle for it is because it’s often accompanied by a pair of two ugly step-sisters… Coveting and Comparing.   The minute we start coveting what we don’t have, and comparing ourselves to everyone else (and their things), it’s downhill from there.

And, at least for me, it’s not just the material things that are easy to pine for.  Maybe it’s accomplishments I see other moms cranking out, all while my major achievements revolved around getting the shower scrubbed and a button re-sewn on my husband’s shirt.  Maybe it’s focusing too much on how ‘godly’ another family seems in comparison to our own.  Or how easy other people’s children seem to be… they’re tutoring their classmates in math, canning the family’s homegrown vegetables, and never have to be asked twice to do anything.  Meanwhile we’re happy that our child used a napkin at the dinner table. (Ahem.)

I heard a great sermon on this once.  The pastor was saying that we need to look at what we have as a bag that the Lord packed just for us, for His reasons.  And the problems come when we start taking our eyes off of our own bag and start looking around at what is in everyone else’s bag.

But God owes us no explanation as to why He has arranged things as He has.  It’s for His purposes.  And, often, if we take a closer look at what is in our bag, we discover some great things!  Things we miss if all we do is look over the fence at our neighbor’s novelties.

One of the greatest blessings is when the Lord gives us contentment to go along with our goods.

Let’s go to scripture for this one.  I think the Apostle Paul has given us two wonderful verses on this:

“But godliness with contentment is great gain.  For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.” 1 Timothy 6:6-7 NIV (emphasis mine).

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:11-13, NIV (emphasis mine).

We will often see things that others have and wish we had them.  But our effort should be spent on enjoying the blessings that we did receive.  And if there are things that others have that you are desiring for yourself, then be inspired (not jealous) to attain those things if the Lord allows it.  And always seek out your heart’s honest reasons as to why you are desiring something… is that item/activity/achievement something that will be helpful to you and your family, or is it something you are desiring for your image and keeping up with the Joneses?  Will it be damaging for your family if you were to attain it?

And if He just doesn’t seem to bless you in the way that you want, then be content knowing that He is in control and will give you the things that are perfectly suited for you.  Just like a true parent, He doesn’t allow us to have everything under the sun… it wouldn’t be right for our spirits.

If you feel you need a kickstart in contentment, start with reminding yourself of the basics that you have.  The fact that you are sitting here reading this post means you are in a place that has modern technology.  Which probably means you also have access to other basic needs… clean, running water at the turn of a faucet, electricity, modern appliances, grocery stores, decent housing.  And again, if you’re reading this, you probably have decent vision, and hopefully good hearing to go with it.  Do you live in a place where you can read your Bible without fear, and worship where you please?

I know those might seem like silly examples, but unless you suddenly lose any of those blessings, it can sometimes be so easy to take them for granted.  So when you finish reading this, try to think of ten things you may have forgotten to thank the Lord for lately (and I’m going to do the same!)  And hopefully if we get in the habit of doing that regularly, it will help us to stop looking inside everyone else’s bag and start being thankful for our own! :-)